OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Forgive Me Father…

Sitting here at the kitchen table, at one in the morning, in the house I grew up in, I’m about to type words which suddenly sound like a confession.

I just caught the end of Almost Famous, a movie I’ve seen many times, and the final minutes made me feel more alive than real life usually does.

It’s as if every expression of unconditional love, friendship, forgiveness, and selflessness I unknowingly miss from my childhood has been summarized and exquisitely encapsulated in a few facial expressions and dead-on dialogue.

Why a confession?

I don’t know really, but that’s how it’s resonating.

Maybe because I’m admitting that I’m not always so in love with life.

And that’s a little sad.

I just wish I can feel the feelings this film leaves me with more often.

I swear I’m going to figure out how. I’m going to dedicate my whole goddamn life to it. For me and for you.

Because that love, stripped down and exposed, is an intoxicant like no other.

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One thought on “Forgive Me Father…

  1. I was raised by a father who I found out later in life had a very abusive father. My father was abusive both physically and verbally in return. His favorite expression to yell at me was, “You’re as useless as tits on a boy!” I grew up hating him and being very afraid of him. It has affected me my entire life. To this day, I still don’t understand what unconditional love, friendship and forgiveness are. My father is 86 now and in a nursing home. I visit every two weeks. I feel guilty, though, because I won’t feel sad when he dies. Perhaps I should say “Forgive me father” for that.

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