by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the month “September, 2019”

Kim Is Leaving Kanye Because of Trump

Kim Kardashian is filing for divorce from Kanye West because of his devotion to Donald J. Trump. 


How do I feel about this?


I really don’t care.  


I really don’t care because I would never care about them (aside from them also being human), and also because it isn’t true.  I just made it up.  


It’s remarkable how many more people will click on a link like this than something I’d write which may provide a life affirming message or something that’s politically urgent. 


But now that you’re here, I really just wanted to say that not one person checked on me during the eight days of being in Hurricane Dorian’s crosshairs.   


Aside from the same four or five people I talk to everyday, not one person.  No family, no friends, no fraternity brothers.  


Everyone knows I live one mile from the ocean in South Florida.  Everyone knew this hurricane, which was just about the strongest in recorded history, loomed in spitting distance of me before it finally turned north.  


And not a goddamn phone call, text, or Facebook message. 

How do I feel about this?


Just like with Kim and Kanye, I really don’t care.  


I’m just here to make a point.  But now that I’m writing this, I don’t even know what my point is.  


I think I’m just so perplexed.  


All I know is that if had the news on and saw tornado warnings in let’s say Indiana, my brain would reflexively run through it’s Rolodex for people I may know there so I could get in touch with them to make sure they’re okay.  


What the fuck was everyone thinking who knows when they were watching TV? “Hey honey, do you see this storm on South Florida’s doorstep? And, do you think we have enough hotdogs for the barbecue tomorrow?”


So, I guess my point is, I hope we collectively evolve before it’s too late.  


Survey says, I doubt it.  


With that, thank god I’m me.  And not them.  


And if this offends anyone or makes anyone think differently of me, good.  



love to all of you anyway, 




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