Unequivocally, I received a message from my dad tonight.
Some people will chalk this up to coincidence or randomness and I have to tell you, I have as much concern about that as I do for the dreams of mosquitos.
I was going to meet a friend at the diner to have one of our late night chats about life but she had to cancel at the last minute because her friend was going into labor and didn’t want to be alone in the hospital.
So, I stretched out on the couch and switched on the TV.
I clicked around until I found thirty minutes left of Apocolypto.
And although I wasn’t in the mood for the violence and stress of it, I tossed the remote to the side and watched until the closing credits.
I did it for my dad.
He loved this movie so much.
It was his cinematic crack pipe – he couldn’t put it down once it was in front of him. Regardless if my mom rushed out of the room frustratedly saying, “Harold, how many times are you going to watch this?”
She hated the violence and stress of it.
And since I decided to keep it on for my dad, I secretly hoped in my heart for a serendipitous message to reveal itself because, between you and I, I was suffering from an unspecific uneasiness underneath my skin.
But I got jipped.
No wisdom. No insights. No nothing, aside from Mel Gibson’s shmucky name staining the screen.
But as destiny and/or fate would have it, the movie started over again and since Apocolypto is one of those flicks you’d normally only catch from the middle, I let it roll.
And then, within the first few minutes, a message from the heavens was revealed in the lines of dialogue between the village elder Flint Sky and his son Jaguar Paw.
– Flint Sky: Those people in the forest, what did you see on them?
– Jaguar Paw: I do not understand.
– Flint Sky: Fear. Deep rotting fear. They were infected by it. Did you see? Fear is a sickness. It will crawl into the soul of anyone who engages it. It has tainted your peace already. I did not raise you to see you live with fear. Strike it from your heart. Do not bring it into our village.
That was my dad talking to me. Right there.
I shut off the TV and here I am writing to you now, with a few tears in my eyes.
Fear, I’m going to conquer it.
I owe it to myself.
I owe to others.
I’m already almost there.
love/thanks and fearlessness,
Love Looks Like This