by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the category “animal abuse”

Vengeance Isn’t Mine (this time)

“I’m Catholic And I Vote!”

Aside from Bush/Cheney and Romney/Ryan, this is officially the dumbest bumper sticker I’ve ever seen.

So, you’re Catholic and you vote. I’m Jewish and a little bloated right now, but you don’t see me broadcasting that on my car, do you?

What message are you trying to get across to us? Your good Catholic values are guiding your ballots?


But let me ask you this, asshole, what about the dog you leave out in your backyard in nineteen degree weather? What’s that equate to, only thirteen degrees below freezing?

I drive by your house often. At different times. And I always see your dog out there.

You’re a good Catholic? I think not.

FACT: if you feel the need to let the world know about your religion, especially with a bumper sticker, you’re covering something up.

Since I’m not known for turning the other cheek, I’d like to put your poor dog out of its misery. But now that I think about it, I’d rather put you out of your misery.

How dare you treat one of God’s creatures like that?

Nevertheless, I’ll do no such thing.

I’ll just humbly ask the universe for both of your best case scenarios.

And then it will all unfold as it must.

“How many observe Christ’s birthday! How few, His precepts!” – Benjamin Franklin

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success


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