OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the category “entrepreneur”

Camel/Needle/Hell

How about this, take a fucking breath.

The two women next to me at Starbucks are whispering, loudly, about money and insurance and properties and about whose husband is doing what.

Enough already.

Enough.

And It’s not just them. It’s basically the only thing I hear from everyone, always.

Listen, I know money is important in this life of ours. I’m not a shmuck.

But c’mon man, can you give it a rest just once in awhile?

Please?

It would be nice to hear someone talk half as passionately about art or music or movies or sex as they do about finances.

But no.

We are a society obsessed.

And we’re all in for a big fat surprise that’s hiding right out in the open.

peace bitches,
gb

buy my goddamn books here:
www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

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You’re Awesome (no really, you are)

My friend’s wife texted me this afternoon about a dream she had about me.

We were swimming together, and then she woke up.

Why is my friend’s wife dreaming about me?

That’s the first question you ask?

Is it that unbelievable?

How come you never bothered to ask why more of my friend’s wives aren’t dreaming about me?

Anyway, as I was saying, my friend’s wife texted me this afternoon about a dream she had about me (she obviously needs to be medicated, severely, or a priest must be brought in for an exorcism).

Using every last bit of willpower I had stored up in my bone marrow to resist making sexual innuendos, I asked her about how’s she been.

She answered, and I quote, “I’m amazing! Everything is great here.”

We volleyed a few more messages back and forth and then, like a pissed off bull in Pamplona, it rammed me right in the solar plexus.

I’ve never, ever, been able to say things are amazing for me.

I mean, I can surely type those words, and I guess I could push those words passed my lips, but it would be a lie.

Cosmically, I know, down to the depths of my DNA, that everything is unfolding exactly as it must.

But if I allow myself, just for a moment, to be a normal, disconnected guy, sitting here in Starbucks as I type this to you, I’d have to admit that I’d like to feel what amazing feels like for a change.

Of course I’m so grateful for the micro and the macro, the alpha and the omega, and the yin and the yang, but amazing?

It doesn’t take a genius or guru to know that amazing is lightyears better than not amazing.

So, what can I do about this?

Well, what does amazing entail?

According to the dictionary, the definition of amazing is: causing great surprise or wonder.

I call bullshit.

We all know when my friend’s wife said, “Amazing!” she sure as hell didn’t mean: causing great surprise (unless she was talking about finding me in her dreams – but then again, the word she probably would have used is “gross”).

She obviously meant amazing, as in awesome.

The question now becomes: is it possible to pull myself off of the bull’s horns, seal the wounds, and then set a course for amazing?

Yes.

In one move.

All I must do is redefine amazing.

I’m redefining it to mean: awesome and/or the potential for awesomeness.

Do I have the potential for awesomeness?

My God yes.

As do you.

I promise you, you do.

How can you check for yourself?

There’s a very simple test: put your hand over your heart. If you can feel something beating, you’ve got the potential.

From now on, instead of my standard okay when someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m going to say amazing.

Because I’m alive and full of divine potential.

And so are you.

Welcome to the world of the infallible, self-fulfilling prophecy.


“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read
.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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And The Killer Is…

Dhani Harrison said his father, George, rarely gave him advice.

“The only two things he felt I had to do in my life were be happy and meditate,” he once told Rolling Stone.

I quoted this to a friend of mine the other day because she was feeling uninspired and directionless.

I then said, “You’re healthy, your family is healthy, you have have money in the bank, why don’t you just allow yourself to sit there in Starbucks and chill.”

She knew this. Of course she knew this.

But she got caught up in comparison. She felt discouraged with just “being” while watching all of the busy people “doing”. They were rushing around, coming and going, typing with intention on their laptops, and seemingly, living lives with some sort of purpose.

And I’m sure she looked through Facebook with all of those pictures of perfect, happy people with their perfect, healthy meals and thought, “Jesus man! What the hell am I doing with myself?”

It’s not her fault to feel this way. And it’s not yours if you feel this way as well.

I know I sure do at times.

Our society is built on comparison. It fuels the machine. 

But comparison, when you’re trying to live a gentle, spiritual life, is the killer.

Do you hear that?

Comparison is the killer.

And what are we really comparing ourselves too? Usually, mere illusions.

A few weeks ago, I typed to an old friend on Facebook, “I’m so happy that you and your wife look so happy. And your kids are so cute. Good for you man, you deserve it.”

A few hours later he responded with, “Thanks so much. But do you really think we’re going to post pictures of us fighting?”

It’s all an illusion. Just a very convincing illusion.

If you must compare yourself to others, skip over the rats in the race. Look for the people who are simply sitting there. Sitting there with a slight smile and breathing just to breathe.

There’s a good chance these people aren’t always happy, because, as you know – life sometimes has a sick sense of humor. But they’ve obviously learned to enjoy the times when there’s nothing better to do than just enjoy the time.

The clock continues to click regardless.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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Let’s Stop Sucking

Mark my words – the people who incessantly whine about this snowy winter, are the same people who will say in a couple of months, “It’s such a humid, gross summer.”

And when you fantasize about winning the hundred million dollar Powerball jackpot, they’re always the ones to say, “Do you know how much they’ll take in taxes?”

However, I shouldn’t cast too many stones because I’m not entirely innocent. From time to time, I witness a few complaints escaping from my own lips as well.

Are we ever content with anything?

I’m on the verge of giving sermons on mounts about weight loss coffee (because it works for everyone I share it with), but I’m also convinced we need to go on a collective diet.

Forget about carbs or hydrogenated fats for a moment. What we need to do, is to keep ourselves from ingesting negativity.

Because you are what you eat and we need to substitute those empty calories with nutrient dense gratitude.

Let’s take a 24-hour challenge. For the next day, let’s replace any complaint in our head with a simple, “thank you.”

It’s called Active Appreciation and I swear it will change your life.

I swear it will.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”
– Meister Eckhart

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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Oh Shit, What Have I Started?


“I just ordered the weight loss coffee from your website. It better work.”

That’s a message I recently received from a woman on Facebook. She ended it with a winky face, but I could tell she was being more serious than playful.

Instead of feeling excited, I automatically thought, “Oh shit, what have I started?”

This woman is in England and I’d rather not be leading people astray on two continents.

I’ve been a little nervous about this and have been keeping my fingers crossed every time I check my messages on Facebook, which I do, FYI, all day, everyday. Like a goddamn junkie.

But so far, the correspondence has been quite cordial.

I say stuff like, “You know we kicked the living shit out of you guys twice.”

She thought I was referring to the Olympics.

I said, “No, I mean once in 1776 and then again in 1812. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

To which she said, “The house I live in is older than your country.”

Touché Miss Moneypenny. Touché.

Her beautiful house, pictured below, was built in 1736.

Thankfully, I woke up this morning to a message from her which read, “Gabe I’ve lost weight, I can’t tell you how much because I don’t own any scales, neither have I weighed myself, but lets just say a few pounds!”

I think she said “pounds” for my benefit. Because, don’t they say kilos over there? Or stones or quid or pence or something like that? Silly Brits should learn their own language already.

Anyway, she’s only been drinking the weight loss coffee for about a week and she already feels and looks slimmer.

So now it’s officially official. I know I’m doing a good thing by spreading the word and I’m never going to question it again.

Back here in the States, my friend who lost six pounds in eleven days is now down nine pounds.

North America: check

Europe: check

Who’s next?

Click here to see what Dr. Oz said about it

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I Almost Got Into A Fight Today With A Madman

“Do you have a cell phone?” asked a man of a young couple today on the Long Beach boardwalk.

He was at least 6′ 3″, in his mid forties, had white bandages on two fingers and asked this couple for their cell phone in a very aggressive tone.

They ignored him so he turned to me because I was the next closest person walking by.

He looked similar to those guys you see getting arrested on Cops who are jacked up on angel dust. Layers of disconnected rage, through and through.

From about four feet way, he asked me with a stern voice, “Do you have a cell phone?”

There was evil in his eyes.

I stopped and stared back, silently. He stopped advancing.

Turning up the pressure he said, “I know you have a cell phone.”

“I do,” I calmly relied.

“Can I use it?” he asked assertively.

“I don’t think so,” I answered.

Pointing at me, he yelled, “Well, FUCK YOU!”

I took a conscious breath and asked, “You sure about that?”

He understood quite clearly that I was inviting him to take it up a notch, if he dared.

He dared.

99% of the time, this is where most “men” fold their cards – regardless of how they were initially posturing with me. But this guy was fearless and full of rage.

He put his head down and stepped towards me like a bull.

I stepped my right foot back and positioned myself in case I had to get medieval on him.

I loudly said, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

Which, thankfully, made him think about it. He ceased moving forward.

I started waking backwards, away from him.

I said, “You know what man, I’m going to use my cell phone to call 911.”

Which I did.

The police told me they were already on their way due to previous calls from other good citizens.

He quickly hightailed it off in the opposite direction.

After incidents like this, and there’s been more than a few, I’d call my dad.

He’d always say something like, “Wow. I’m glad you’re okay.”

And I’d always answer with something like, “C’mon, you know if something really happened, I’d be the one left standing.”

To which he would always say, “Just make sure you don’t go back the same way. And stay aware.”

Moments before this all went down by the way, I was feeling so grateful for the melting snow and the fifty degree weather. I was actually feeling so grateful, to be honest, just to be me.

And now I sit here typing to you (yes you, the person reading these words now) and I’m so grateful my dad taught me when to stand my ground, when to leave and most of all, when to be aware.

When?

Always.

Because the universe can be very subtle in its beauty and very direct with its sudden surprises – and you don’t want to miss either.

Today would have been my parent’s 45th anniversary. It’s the first one my mom is alone for.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

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