Soul Food

Anthony Bourdain.  

I used to worry about his health.

Every time I’d serendipitously find that show of his, he’d be eating like a goddamn teenager.

Some sort of third-world meat, followed by more meat, with noodles, beer and sake.  Voiced over deliciously with subtle smugness and a side of self deprecation. And then, of course, a nightcap with old restaurant friends in a place like Okinawa or some other city he seemed to have the keys to.  

 In the morning, as you know, he’d wake up, eat an egg based seafood dish in a market that looked like it was in Blade Runner and after the next commercial, he’d get a new tattoo and then head over to a barbecue where no one knew english but spoke wine well.  

And there I was on the couch, always thinking variations of, “Jeez, how does that bastard stay so thin?  I just hope it doesn’t catch up to this guy.”

But now, none of that matters. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Now, I just hope he enjoyed every morsel and every drop.

It’s sort of the same with my Dad. In our family of four, he’d eat enough for a family of four and I’d plead with him to be more careful with his weight.  I was so scared it would lead him to an early grave and we’d fight about it constantly.  

But here I now sit, late one night in June, the month of my dad’s birth (as well Anthony’s), and I’m just so glad he got so much pleasure from his bagels cut into three slices and his swiss cheese and onion omelettes because it ended up meaning nothing.

Brain cancer doesn’t give a fuck about your diet.  

 Imagine if I could have known how it was all going to end? Imagine if I could just get back the time with him I wasted fighting about food?

But the truth is, I knew how it was going to end.  Not exactly, but I know how it ends for everyone.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.  

You’d think that, and that alone, would make us want to be more kind.  More kind to ourselves, more kind to others, and more kind to animals.  But it doesn’t.

We live selfishly, as if we’re all that matters, with almost no love for our neighbors.

And maybe this lack of love we feel in the world, although not self-described on the inside that way because it feels more like an overwhelming, undefined darkness of not-enoughness, pushes us to eventually pull our own plugs. Regardless of how great we seem to have it on the outside.

What does this have to do with my dad dying and how I handled it before, during and after?

Nothing.

Thankfully nothing.  

I was a good son.  

But, as you know if you’ve read my stuff, almost everything gets traced back to my dad nowadays.  

And I know that he knew that I was just looking out for him.

As he did for me.

As we should for each other.  

With that said, it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything so I thank you for trading your time for my words. And, if you’re one of the few reading this right now, I know you have nothing to learn from me about kindness.  I’m sure you’re already there.  So, thank you for that as well.

love/thanks,

gb

pick up my books here – livelikeafruitfly.com

Advertisements

Meet Joe Black

I have sort of an ethical question. 

Maybe you guys can help me out. 

It’s a bit embarrassing, but I’m just going to muster up the courage and ask it.

So, here it goes:

Is it wrong to choke an old white lady to death in front of Whole Foods?

No, right?

Okay, good.  

Because, not only was she a racist, and not only did she call me a self hating jew to my face, but, get this, her mouth was filled with a white, pasty, bird shit substance.

I mean, c’mon, if you’re going to hit me with your pro-Trump, anti-Hillary, hate fueled idiocy, can’t you at least have the common courtesy to swallow the fucking free sample of cream cheese first?

For the love of god lady, you’re gross.

And I can hear what some of you are thinking right now. 

“Gabe, she was an eighty-six year old woman. You could have just been nice and let her off the hook.” 

NO!

It’s directly her fault, and directly the fault of others of her ilk, that 12 million people just lost health care. And her fault that net-neutrality was just killed. And her fault that we dropped out of the Paris Climate Agreement. And her fault that social programs are being fleeced to give more money to the wealthy. Etc etc etc to infinity.  

No one gets a free pass if they hurt others.  

No one.  

– gb

P.S. “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it..”

 – Albert Einstein

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

61 Million Benedict Arnolds

Shit. Piss. Fuck. Cunt. Motherfucker. Cocksucker. Tits.

This is George Carlin’s list of Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television and it, of course, popped into my head as soon as I saw the following headline on thehill.com a few days ago:
Words Banned At CDC Were Also Banned At Other HHS Agencies.

Here’s how the article starts: Multiple agencies in the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) have reportedly been told by the Trump administration that they cannot use certain phrases in official documents.

Officials from two HHS agencies, who asked that their names and agencies remain anonymous, told The Washington Post that they had been given a list of “forbidden” words similar to the one given to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

A second HHS agency was told not to use the phrases “entitlement,” “diversity” and “vulnerable,” in documents. It was also told to use “ObamaCare” as opposed to the “Affordable Care Act” and to refer to “marketplaces,” where people purchase health insurance, as “exchanges.”

The Post’s new report builds on its Friday report that the CDC had been told it could no longer use the phrases “evidence-based” and “science-based” in documents being prepared for the 2019 budget.

The list of “forbidden” words and phrases given to policy analysts at the CDC also included “vulnerable,” “entitlement,” “diversity,” “transgender” and “fetus.”

Listen up everyone, there’s a coup d’etat happening right here. At home. In the U.S.

Appointing of unqualified judges. The discrediting of the media. Colluding with foreign powers. Obstructing justice. Threatening the arrest of political opponents. Making it harder for people to vote. Blatant misrepresentation of facts. The banning of words. Gaslighting. Etcetera, to almost infinity.

Gil Scott-Heron said the revolution will nor be televised, but the takeover certainly was. And regardless of the abominations we saw on the campaign trail, over 61 million people still opted for it

1984 is simmering in 2017. Right out in the open.

Millions have died to protect our nation, successfully, but will we survive this attack from within?

In my book, Live Like A Fruit Fly (jesus man, this blog post is started to sound kind of official), I said:

I’ll share a little secret with you that may help you sleep better tonight: there’s nothing to worry about anyway. How did I come to this conclusion? All you have to do is look at the past. Good always wins. Evil may percolate from time to time and have its day in the sun, but sooner or later, the good guys prevail.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Nazi German seemed pretty tough and so did the Soviet Union. And where are they now? In history books.

It seems as though the universe allows evil to dominate from time to time to give the virtuous an opportunity to show virtue. And when the time is right, they’ll step up to the plate. So get in the batter’s box and wait for your pitch.

Even with the hellish, Twilight Zone styled news I see flash on my phone everyday, I still stand by my words above.

But with that, I also know that all empires fall.

All.

Empires.

Fall.

So, we shall see, together, how our collective destiny will unfold.

And with that, my only point of writing this, as always, is to say if there was ever a time for us to evolve as a species, it’s now.

There is no other way.

There is no other.

– gb

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

Five Years Short Years

Hey, guess what?

Everyone you care about will be dead soon.

Crazy, right?

Dead, as in no pulse. Blank stares. Cold skin. Never to be heard from again.

Everyone.

Go scroll through the photos in your phone. Corpses. All of them.

Maybe not today or tomorrow or even in a few months, or maybe not, if so fortunate, for another eighty years, but as Dr. David Hawkins said, “The final moment arises unannounced…quite unexpectedly.”

What can we do about this?

Nothing. We’re fucked. “No one here gets out alive,” sang Mr. Mojo Risin.

And you would think this utter obviousness would wake us up.

Wake us up to the realization that only unconditional kindness, not constant competition, is the only path to a graceful, peaceful life. For the giver and receiver.

Kindness expressed to all of life. Not just for the photos in our phone. Yes, even the people who relentlessly cold call day and night about some shit they’re trying to sell you.

Those people are people too. Just doing what they can to survive just like you. Needing to feed themselves and their families just like you.

Yes, surviving this life can be a battle. And we must take up arms. But with that, it’s high time we evolve to making kindness our sword as well as our shield.

I promise you it’s the only way.

This comes up for me today, and now for you, because it’s December 11th, 2017 and my dad died one thousand, eight hundred and twenty-five days ago.

If he could come back from the other side for just a few moments, I think this would be one of the things he’d tell us. That, and, I waited too long to get my tires rotated but at least I finally did this morning.

thank you for taking your time to read this – it truly means the world to me,
gb

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

Karma Police, Arrest This Man…

If I had one wish: 

Those who help relieve suffering of others will receive the same in kind for themselves and their love ones.
But those who act wickedly towards others, out of greed and/or violence, will receive in kind but ten times the amount for themselves and their loved ones. 
The Trumps of the world, and those who vote for them, will be gone or completely converted by sun up. 
And global hunger will end by sundown.

– gb

 

Let’s Just Be Honest With Ourselves And Each Other

Gasoline.

Zippo.

There are times, many of them, when I feel like torching the entire self-help section of the bookstore.

And after that, I’ll delete everyone on Facebook who posts those cheery memes about how happy we should all be feeling.

This new age, nonsensical horse shit is piled so high, I sometimes need a periscope just to see passed it.

Maybe there’s so much sadness in the world because we’re constantly indoctrinated with concepts which tell us that it’s not okay to be sad. And just maybe, the imposed denial of the sadness we actually feel will result in a compounding of sadness which will haunt us even further.

But here’s one thing from the new age moment which rings out to be true: what you resist, persists.

Maybe it’s time to stop resisting the sadness. Just maybe, if we allowed ourselves to acknowledge the sadness, truly acknowledge it and welcome it home, without trying to bury it under layers of pie in the sky lies, we’d be able to transcend it more naturally.

Do you know how much pressure those Facebook memes must put on some people? I’m sure they feel like sailors on a doomed submarine.

Just last night I talked to a woman whose daughter ran away from home and another woman who’s daughter died from brain cancer. Almost everyday I speak to someone who suffers with different degrees of awfulness.

As for me, I deal with a darkness as well.

No matter how bright and beautiful it is outside, and no matter how much I have to be grateful for, my mind sometimes senses this existence of ours through a filter of subtle gloom.

It’s almost like wordlessly I say to myself, “Yes, all is well today, but what about this or that. Or this or that?”

And then I start feeling sad, because I know better than to allow myself to feel sad.
With that said, maybe it’s time to stop kidding ourselves. Life, in all of its splendor, is simultaneously filled with horror. And for those of us who have experienced true horror, maybe we need to let ourselves off the hook.

Let ourselves off the hook when we’re made to feel weak for not being able to feel happy after using techniques taught in so called self-help books and no-help memes.

And then, and only then, we can start to count our blessings.

But authentically so.

Because we will find blessings in life’s splendor, if we look for them.

Regardless of the horrors.

And probably right under our noses.

Thank you my loved ones, those I know and don’t, for taking the time to be with me through these words,

– gb

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

Time Stands Still Yet Passes So Quickly..

Using a ladle, the elderly woman filled her bowl with vegetable soup.

Slowly and carefully. 

Her elderly husband stood by her side. Overseeing the process patiently. 

They walked together to a table holding their trays. 

Slowly and carefully. 

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

Ohmeletes

“How are you so ridiculously sweet?” I asked the waitress at the diner this afternoon.

I was having lunch with Rob. We’ve been friends for thirty-two years.

The waitress, who has photos of her dog pasted on the cover of the notebook she writes orders into, took a step away, looked back in our direction, smiled a genuine smile and answered, “How can you not be kind in this world?”

Exactly.

How can you not be.

The end.

love/thanks,
gb

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

Front Row Seats

Until it stops, which may or may not ever happen, evil seems to arise in this world.

But with that, I have arisen to counteract this unevolved evil with love (sometimes expressing itself as tough love), kindness, and compassion.

Why two sides with varying degrees of both in between?

You can look at life like it’s a play on a stage, and we’re all playing our parts perfectly.

But since it doesn’t seem like we have chosen which side of the struggle we’re on (because it seems to have been chosen for us), I am just so grateful for my casting as someone who always, without exception, stands for goodness, light, beauty, selflessness and truth.

What about you?

Where do you stand?

Where do you want to stand?

sending love to everyone reading this right now,
– gb

P.S. As I was just about to publish this on my blog, a saw a homeless man ask a nonsensical question to another man who walked out of Starbucks. He gave some sort of answer, walked a few steps a way, came back, and asked the homeless man if he can use a few bucks. He nodded and the other guy took two dollars out of his wallet and gave it to him. This has been my favorite part of the play today. Thank you for reading.

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

A Serious Letter To Christian Republicans

Dear Christian Republicans,

If Jesus Christ appeared before you now, would you follow him?

Please, look into your heart.

If the son of God pleaded with you to be by his side, would you?

Would you surrender your ideas of American exceptionalism to walk the path with him?
(“Give to Caeser what is Caeser’s; and to God what is God’s.”)

If the Lord actually appeared before you now, would you sell your possessions and give them to the poor as he asked? (“Go and sell your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”)

Or would you deny him?

Consider this instead:

Jesus doesn’t materialize in the present moment.

Instead, he’s there at your death.

At the exact moment your life ends, you find yourself kneeling before your savior.

And Jesus, the champion of the poor, puts his hand on your head and asks, “My child, setting aside your earthly allegiances, have you ever helped a wealthy man take advantage of a disadvantaged man?”

“For how would a man benefit to gain the whole world but destroy his soul or lose it?”

Christian Republicans, would you turn your back on God?

Have you already?

Only you and God can know.

love/thanks,
gabe