OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the category “hope”

WARNING: F-bomb Dropped Below

If you want to cover me in an avalanche of an anxiety, tell me the summer is ending before it actually is.

And like clockwork, my goddamn grandma has been spewing this rhetoric since mid June.

“Why isn’t my air conditioning working well? Did you touch the buttons?” she accusatorially asks.

“Maybe because all your windows are wide open and the entire sweltering universe is now in your apartment,” I say as innocently as I can.

“It’s probably broken. It doesn’t matter, the summer is almost over,” she relents.

My grandma is proof that those new-agey people are full of shit when they say that your life is a product of your thoughts. Because she’s the most negative person in the tri-state area and if that crap were true, she’d be toast a long time ago.

But she’s ninety-three and still going strong. With her cigarettes, garlic breath and guilt.

On the way to see her today, where I invariably had to explain why I’m a vegetarian for the billionth time, I saw kids on the side of the street selling lemonade.

I pulled over for a quickie down the hatch.

They weren’t charging anything but instead were accepting donations to help fight a horrible childhood disease that took two young kids in their family.

I gave them a couple of bucks and then to make them laugh I said, “Do you guys have any pizza to wash this lemonade down with?”

I really just don’t get how people choose to be negative. About anything. Ever.

And I’m not talking about being happy, because happy is hard when you have deep empathy for those who suffer. What I’m talking about is the incessant judgement, complaining and criticism which has become as commonplace in our culture as, I don’t know, cancer.

Perhaps that’s the link – bad vibes and cancer. But not individual bad vibes per se, but collective ones. And these bad vibes collect into invisible, condensed clouds and pass over each home like the biblical angel of death. And obviously, perhaps, some people are more vulnerable than others.

Which would explain why my grandma, who says stuff like, “It’s a sin to grow old,” has enough energy to fight in the UFC while those little redheads at the lemonade stand had to go to their cousin’s funerals.

Who knows if there’s a link or not, right?

All I know, for sure, is that the constant barrage of bad vibes isn’t helping anyone.

And there are plenty who need help.

So, if you’re lucky enough not to be one of those poor souls who need help, please, for the common good, shut the fuck up already with your negativity.

“Am I bugging you? I don’t mean to bug you, but I’m bugged.” – Bono

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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When Cameron Was In Egypt Land…

Why was last night different than all other nights?

Because last night was the second night of Passover, and for the second night in a row, I drove my grandma home after our menagerie of matzoh.

That was my dad’s job.

And now it’s mine.

Earlier in the evening, everyone sat around the table – ate, laughed and pretended to be religious for fifteen minutes.

Including me.

However, I also felt like banging my fists on the table and screaming, “Holy fuck Batman, how are we all acting so normal?”

Maybe that’s what happens when you lose a loved one. Eventually, everything clicks back into place and you just roll with it. Even if it clicks a bit differently than it used to.

Your mom cooks for the family by herself, your brother-in-law hides the matzoh so the kids can scramble to find it, and you get into your dad’s car and drive your grandma back to her apartment in Long Beach.

Life goes on.

But with that said, I once again walked downstairs this morning, and literally felt my dad sitting at the kitchen table. Wearing his blue bathrobe, reading the Times, and eating lots of eggs and gross onions.

Everyone says in due time, things will feel normal again.

Normal?

That’s the last thing I want to feel.

Normalcy might tarnish my memories. And I need them to remain digitally clear.

Because they’re all I have left.

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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And The Killer Is…

Dhani Harrison said his father, George, rarely gave him advice.

“The only two things he felt I had to do in my life were be happy and meditate,” he once told Rolling Stone.

I quoted this to a friend of mine the other day because she was feeling uninspired and directionless.

I then said, “You’re healthy, your family is healthy, you have have money in the bank, why don’t you just allow yourself to sit there in Starbucks and chill.”

She knew this. Of course she knew this.

But she got caught up in comparison. She felt discouraged with just “being” while watching all of the busy people “doing”. They were rushing around, coming and going, typing with intention on their laptops, and seemingly, living lives with some sort of purpose.

And I’m sure she looked through Facebook with all of those pictures of perfect, happy people with their perfect, healthy meals and thought, “Jesus man! What the hell am I doing with myself?”

It’s not her fault to feel this way. And it’s not yours if you feel this way as well.

I know I sure do at times.

Our society is built on comparison. It fuels the machine. 

But comparison, when you’re trying to live a gentle, spiritual life, is the killer.

Do you hear that?

Comparison is the killer.

And what are we really comparing ourselves too? Usually, mere illusions.

A few weeks ago, I typed to an old friend on Facebook, “I’m so happy that you and your wife look so happy. And your kids are so cute. Good for you man, you deserve it.”

A few hours later he responded with, “Thanks so much. But do you really think we’re going to post pictures of us fighting?”

It’s all an illusion. Just a very convincing illusion.

If you must compare yourself to others, skip over the rats in the race. Look for the people who are simply sitting there. Sitting there with a slight smile and breathing just to breathe.

There’s a good chance these people aren’t always happy, because, as you know – life sometimes has a sick sense of humor. But they’ve obviously learned to enjoy the times when there’s nothing better to do than just enjoy the time.

The clock continues to click regardless.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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Can You Handle The Truth?

Was Karl Marx right?

Is religion the opiate for the masses?

Hallucinogenic is probably more correct.

In my completely non-humble opinion, religion warps the truth about God.

It’s like a bad LSD trip.

What’s the truth about God?

We can’t even answer this because the question itself is faulty.

It’s like asking – what’s the truth about truth? Or, what’s the God about truth? Or, of course, what’s the God about God?

Head explode yet?

Don’t sweat it. I can barely keep up and I’m the one writing this (kind of).

What’s the truth about God?

God is truth. Truth is God.

So you see, as crazy as it sounds, atheists believe in God more than many religious people.

Because they believe in truth.

Many religious people believe they’re the sole keepers of truth. But how can their truth be more true than the truth of others?

It can’t.

That, as Spock would say, is illogical.

Religions are stories based on truth.

And stories are just stories. Regardless of how old and ornate the churches and temples are.

So, what is the truth? What would be the one rule of God if she/he/it revealed the one, holy commandment?

Before we get to that, let me tell where this is all bubbling up from.

A friend of mine is a catastrophic loss insurance adjuster and told me the other day that a very religious man didn’t allow him into his house on a Saturday after Hurricane Sandy.

This is warped thinking. A bad trip.

If it wasn’t for the hallucinogenic of religion, any truth seeking person would ask, “How come it’s okay for God to destroy my house but not okay for him to send over one of his angels on the Sabbath to help fix it?”

God didn’t destroy the house? You mean to tell me that God is separate from the weather?

It doesn’t take deep inquiry for the illusion to fade into mere mist.

Which brings us back to the one, holy commandment:

Love.

Love yourself, and others, unconditionally.

Love without condition, expectation, or exception.

Unconditional love for ourselves and others is like the needle in Mia’s heart in Pulp Fiction. It awakens all.

And if our old stories teach us anything other than unconditional love, it’s time to let them go.

Truth/God/Love is our savior.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

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Dear Dad…

Dear Dad,

I’m sitting alone at the kitchen table, staring at my iPad.

Paul Simon’s “The Boy In The Bubble” just came on Pandora.

I can still hear you singing along with the song (typing that made me cry).

– – – – – – – – – – – – – — – – – – – — – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – — – – – – – — – – – – – –
– – – – – – – – – – – – – — – – – – – — – – – – – –

Amazing. “Son of a Preacher Man” is playing now.

Are you sending me a sign that you know I’m writing about you (we’d look over to each other, smile, and silently agree that we were done changing channels when we caught Pulp Fiction on TV)?

I hope so.

Actually, I know so.

Thank you.

I couldn’t miss you more.

love/thanks,
gabe

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Words I Wish I Wrote

You can play the game and you can act out the part
Though you know it wasn’t written for you
But tell me, how can you stand there with your broken heart
Ashamed of playing the fool
One thing can lead to another; it doesn’t take any sacrifice
Oh, father and mother, sister and brother
if it feels nice, don’t think twice

Just shower the people you love with love
Show them the way that you feel
Things are gonna work out fine if you only will
Shower the people you love with love
Show them the way you feel
Things are gonna be much better if you only will…

– James Taylor “Shower The People”

FYI – the first version of Live Like A Fruit Fly ended with JT’s line, “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”

The truly great writers need very few words.

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

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For Everyone Alone On Valentine’s Day

I have such sympathy for people who feel alone.

I used to feel that way, and it’s awful.

You stand there in CVS, looking at everyone picking out Valentine’s Day cards, and you think, “Why not me?”

It sucks. I know.

But to that I say, as I would say to just about anything else, all in due time.

If you’ve been patiently waiting for your soulmate for forever, what I’m about to tell you isn’t going to make you feel any better about it. Nevertheless, it doesn’t make it less true.

You’re not alone.

It’s scientific fact. We’re all connected and it’s unequivocally proven by physicists worldwide.

The separation you sense is pure illusion.

If you allow yourself to become aware of this, if you allow yourself to know this, maybe, just maybe, you won’t be “alone” for much longer.

This is an aspect of the law of attraction. And the law of attraction isn’t something you get to believe in or not. It’s as real – as gravity.

Happy Valentine’s Day. From me to you (me).

love/thanks,
gabe (you)

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” —Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

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12/11/12 3:15am

The universe swallowed him a year ago.
It swallowed me too.
But I still have my breath.
And my hope.

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