by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the category “politcs”

What The Fuck Is Everyone Freaking About?

What’s the big shock over recent news?

The United States of America was born in the butchering of Native American Indians.

The United States of America profited on the whipped, bloody backs of millions of enslaved Africans.

And 61,900,651 voted for Donald Trump.

The only people we should be pointing fingers at, are ourselves.

As my dad used to say, “We have met the enemy, and it is us.”

– gb


Raise Children As Christians?

Two older women at the table next to me at Starbucks were talking about wallpaper. Or maybe it was about gift-wrapping paper. I was only idly listening.

That is, until one of them closed the wallpaper (gift-wrapping?) catalog and said, “And that’s why I believe it’s so important to raise children as Christians.”

I was tempted to ask, “But which Christianity? The Republican version based on the false gods of Guns & Greed? Or the unconditionally loving and forgiving versions of Dr. Martin Luther King and Jesus Christ himself?”

Although, of course, Jesus wasn’t a Christian in the religious sense of the word. Nor was he white. Nor would he be a racist. Or homophobic. Or against healthcare for all. Or for the fetishizing over assault rifles. Or for lining the pockets of the rich at the expense of the middle class.

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” – said by a very dark skinned Jew over two thousand years ago

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success


The Grand Old Party Ruined The Party

My mom just said to me, “What happened to you at the party? It’s like you disappeared.”

It’s true. I escaped to the basement and watched Jack Reacher for the fiftieth time while everyone else enjoyed the bubbling birthday festivities spreading throughout the house.

Two people, at two separate times, cornered me to unload their filthy opinions of President Obama right in my face. Not argumentatively mind you, but truly expecting me to agree with their misguided, racist lunacy. I stood there and breathed silently as if in a meditation class. But since I’ve been known to explode like a hand-grenade in similar situations, I fled while the pin was still in.

I explained all of this to my mom and she replied with, “C’mon, they were all nice people. You can’t judge people by their politics.”

Au contraire mon frere.

If you wish our President ill will and favor this detrimental Republican shutdown, I have all the info I need for a proper judgment.

I subscribe to the wisdom of the movie High Fidelity, “What really matters is what you like, not what you are like.”

My new book – Where Is God When Our Loved Ones Get Sick? – available here:

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