And Now The Scoobz Is Gone Too :(

Early yesterday morning, lying in bed wide awake before my doctors appointment, I said to myself, “If I’m okay, if this turns out to be nothing, if I dodge this bullet, I’ll be more grateful, more often, from now on.”

Hours later, back in bed, lying in the same position, I was so grateful to be okay. I was so grateful to have dodged the bullet. Whatever I’m feeling in my stomach turns out to just be a benign cyst, and not, well, you know.

And then the next damn day, just like that, my little orange friend Scooby is gone. Two cats I loved like family are gone within seven months of each other.

Thankfully, The Scoobz wasn’t killed by a coyote like The Jing was. But his original “owner” who neglected the fuck out of him and abandoned him about a year ago, swiped him from my porch late last night and moved five hours away today.

So much for the power of gratitude.

But I am still grateful. With all of the day to day horrors in the world, I’m still grateful. There’s goodness in the world. And where I can’t see it, which is often, I’ll be it.

I hope someday you will join us and the world will live as one.

Love/Thanks,

GB

The Doors Of Perception

EVEN THOUGH EVERY DAY

MAY NOT BE WONDERFUL

ALWAYS SEEK THE WONDER

IN EACH DAY

I saw these words on plaque affixed to a bench outside of a cancer center.

I brought my friend there today. He’s mostly alright thankfully. Just a checkup.

As I waited for him with my face turned towards to the sun and my eyes closed, I realized it’s December 11th. My dad died of cancer exactly eleven years ago.

I called my mom.

I called my sister.

And now as I write this, I’m thinking about Ray Manzarek. The keyboardist for The Doors. He once said in an interview, “The ancient Egyptians use to say, if you say a man’s name, he is alive. So I take this opportunity to say Jim Morrison. “

And I take this opportunity to say Harold Berman. I miss you and love you beyond all words. Beyond all worlds.

– gb

P.S. Thank you for reading this. And as always with this, I’m not here for likes or for sympathy (although they are appreciated of course). I’m just here with a few words because I had no choice but to write them. For myself and for you. Just in case you needed some warmth and self reflection.

P.PS. Even though every day may not be wonderful, always seek the wonder in each day. Thank you again.