by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the month “June, 2014”

Pulling The Strings

I became aware of how unaware I can be when I noticed a spoonful of smoldering oatmeal in front of my face this morning.

There it was, almost levitating, completely catching me off guard.

And there I was, blowing on it, attempting to cool it off. My arm, hand and mouth, completely on autopilot.

How was this happening?

Appropriately enough, I was in the middle of reading a book by Sam Harris entitled Free Will.

He doesn’t think we have any. And that’s just stupid, right?

I pulled the book off of the shelf at the bookstore, just to see how stupid this best selling author really is, and I swear, he had me flipped by the second page.

Of course we can choose between the choices in our head, but where do those choices even originate from? Neurochemistry? The Universe? God? All of the above? None of the above?

And what about this: I didn’t even intend to look at this book. As I was walking through the philosophy section, I noticed my shoe was untied so I bent down to remedy the situation. As I stood up, I noticed Sam Harris’ book and here we are.

Was it all coincidence? Serendipity? Divine intervention or dumb luck?

I stopped thinking about all of this when my mom walked into the kitchen to show me the cranberry colored sun hat she just brought home from Marshalls.

“Daddy would have loved it,” I said.

“He really liked me in hats,” she answered.

And then she went to her room. Maybe she continued to think about him. Maybe she returned to la-la land.

By the way, if you’re assuming I’m going to somehow tie all of this together by the end of this piece, I’ve got news for you kiddo, it’s probably not going to happen. I’m just writing this right now because I know I have to. It’s the choice I’m making between the choices of not doing so and doing so. So, if you want to stop reading right this second, be my guest. It’s a safe bet that you’re not going to miss anything good.

Without knowing I was going to write about it today, I posted this Shakespeare quote on Facebook yesterday:

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts…”

Is it possible that each of us, composed of 100 trillion cells, exists just so the Universe can express itself in the most mysterious of ways?


Not only is it possible, I think it’s highly probable.

And if that’s the case, all I can say is this: I’m goddamn grateful I’m me.

I’m goddamn grateful I’m me and not the lunatic I was talking to the other day at Starbucks. He’s a nice enough guy, not at all malicious, but relentlessly repetitive and it takes an amazing amount of willpower not to cut him off and say, “Dude, c’mon man. Give it a rest. I’m just trying to sit here, listen to a little music and enjoy my coffee.”

But I force myself to remember that, unlike you and me, his head isn’t going to give him a choice between shutting the fuck up and not shutting the fuck up. Apparently, like it or not, it’s verbal Pompeii.

Doesn’t it seem like the universe has a mind of it’s own?

This morning, after talking about the hat, my mom came back into the kitchen to tell me about her friend who needs surgery. His eyelashes, out of nowhere, have decided to point backwards and are now growing into his eyes.

Later in the day, as I was sauntering along the Long Beach boardwalk, I stopped to watch hotel employees setting up chairs on the beach for a wedding. And, at the exact same moment, somewhere in Michigan, my friend was at her best friend’s house, because her best friend’s brother hung himself this morning.

Maybe the choices everyone was given in all of these scenarios, and the choices made from those choices, lead to their outcomes. 

Who the hell knows really. 

I’m just grateful I always have the choice to be kind and I am grateful that I usually choose kindness over anything else.

Maybe the choice of constant kindness hasn’t been available to you.

Until now.

And now that it has, what are you going to do with it?

If you’re still here reading, thank you. The universe thanks you.

Together, we shall see how it all unfolds next.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success


What Do You Want To Do With Your Life?

Point a gun to my belly and ask me what I really want to do with the rest of my life and I’d honestly say:


I’d love nothing more than to dedicate my entire existence to it.

To be completely committed to blocking out anything other than what’s beautiful.

Being in absolute awe of it. Always.

All ways.

And, just as importantly, or maybe even more so, to add as much beauty to this world of ours as I can. Right on up until my last breath.

I just want to write love poems all day.

I want to look in the eyes of all who are suffering and tell them that I’m with them. And that I’ll never leave them alone. Even if I can’t always be there. And, that I see no other outcome then the miraculous.

I want to stand in warm breezes radiating gratefulness.

Laugh with my sister until my ribs rupture.

Hug strangers who look like they can use one.

Bring water to thirsty dogs.

Fall in love with myself. I mean, really fall in love with myself and then literally sense myself in everyone. Without exception.

I want to wake up smiling.

I just want to wake up smiling, without worrying about money.

I just want to wake up smiling, without wasting another day waiting for my life to start.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success


June 14 2014

As of twenty-three minutes ago, my dad would have been seventy-two years old.

If he was still around, I’d probably open my eyes widely in his direction and instigate a bit with, “Seventy-two, huh?”

But per usual, he wouldn’t take the bait. He’d just smile and shake his head at me.

“It’s better than the alternative,” was his famous line when people complained about getting older on their birthdays.

A few nights ago, I watched up to the part when Michael confronts Apollonia’s father in GF1 (the original Godfather). Alone in the dark, I cried until I was out of tears.

Like most father and son teams, this was our movie. If we found it on TV while clicking through the channels, control of the remote control would be relinquished and it would remain untouched until the closing credits.

And now here I sit at the kitchen table, in his seat, listening to his favorite song Take Five by Dave Brubeck, in efforts to somehow…I don’t know…invoke the spirits maybe to give me a meaningful message.

But the truth is, the spirits revealed their message before I even knew to ask them to tonight.

While mindlessly making a cup of tea before starting to write, I noticed these words printed on the tab of the teabag: The purpose of life is to enjoy every moment.

The purpose
of life
is to enjoy
every moment.

I think I can feel my dad agreeing from the other side.

With that said, remember to be loving to your loved ones. Even if they make it really hard for you to do so.

They sometimes leave you faster than you’d ever imagine.

Happy Birthday Dad.

I love you and miss you immeasurably.


Everything You Need To Know About Me

I don’t know about wine.

I don’t know my way around Manhattan.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.

All I know is that I currently reside on a spherical rock which rotates on its axis at 1,000 miles per hour while it revolves around a massive fireball at 67,000 miles per hour.

And that’s more than enough for me right now.

That, and music.

And kindness. 

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success


Is Kim Kardashian’s Ass Too Big?

Life sucks.

Which seems silly to say as I sit here at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, listening to a beautiful Seu Jorge song, while watching roses gently sway in the backyard.

But my friend’s mom died this morning. Parkinson’s.

The doctors today told another friend of mine that her dad has one or two days left. Cancer.

As for me, my dad planted those roses – never knowing they’d outlive him.

Does this mean though that life sucks?

I don’t know.

Isn’t it dumb that we still get shocked when people die? You’d think, by now, we’d realize that it’s as natural as the sunrise. As soon as you’re born, your fate is sealed.

“OMG, do you believe that about Maya Angelou?”

Yes. Of course I believe it. You get old. You die. Next.

As Jim Morrison put it, “No one here gets out alive.”

I think it’s the suffering we’ll never get used to.

Loved ones crumbling with no dignity. It’s awful. It couldn’t be more awful.

But still, even that, until we cure all disease, is unfortunately natural.

So, what really sucks about life?

We do.

We suck.

We actually go out of our way to add suffering to ourselves and others.

Are we retarded?


We’ve all seen the writing one the wall, right?

How many more people must we see die until we realize that no one here gets out alive?

It’s time to evolve beyond survival of the fittest.

Kindness, not competition, needs to become our new religion.

And it starts with you.

Please be a bit more lighthearted with yourself. You deserve it. Please be more lighthearted with others. Even if they don’t.

But I know this is falling on deaf ears. I know no one cares until it’s too late.

It’s Kim’s ass. Obama’s birth certificate. The New York Rangers. Pressure from our family to be different.

But heads up everyone: the deathbed is our destiny.

So, I’ll stare at these roses as long as I can.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success


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