OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the category “anxiety”

Vesuvius

I am charged today with the task of adding a bit of beauty to our world.

Who appointed me with this mission?

Me.

And now that I have, I wish I actually had something beautiful to say.

I wish I could write a sentence out of thin air that drips with lusciousness or explodes violently like a volcano. A sentence someone would read and subsequently say to themselves, “Damn Jack, that was exquisite.”

But I can’t.

I got nothing.

However, as the universe would have, I’m now compelled to say this:

Earlier today I saw a Facebook post from a friend who said she was feeling alone. And attached to her words was an authentic, palpable, sullen vibe.

In response I said, “It’s awful to feel that way, but you’re not.”

How could she be alone when I’m taking a breath with her in that moment?

And, as for you dear reader, if you’re ever feeling alone, or sad, or anxious, or lost, or not enough, I hope you’re caused to remember to take breath with me.

A deep, rib expanding, blood pressure lowering, conscious breath.

Because, regardless of time and space, we are connected you and I. Whomever you may be.

Without exception. Without expectation.

You are not alone.

You are loved.

Regardless if you feel that way or not.

But I hope you do feel that way.

Sooner than later.

And with that, I’m here to assure you that you will.

Case closed.

love/thanks,
gabe

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

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If You Really Want To Hear About It…

“What’s Holden doing right now?” I asked my mom.

A few months before her birthday, I overheard her say to someone that she wanted to reread the holiest of hollies, The Catcher In The Rye.

So, that’s the gift I gave her. Paperback, non kindle, with the original cover. Like a 60’s Corvette Stingray, a goddamn classic.

“He just got beat up in a hotel room,” my mom answered.

“Ahh, and now he’s pretending to have bullet wounds in the gut,” I said smiling.

After watching me flick through the book for a few seconds she said, “He’s a real sick kid that Holden Caulfield.”

“He’s not a sick kid,” I said defending him but actually defending myself. “He’s in a sick world.”

Raise high the roof beam,
gb

The Right Isn’t Right

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“Mr. Nobody”

“I’m not afraid of death. I’m afraid I haven’t been alive enough.”

I sat on the edge of my bed – totally petrified.

Not frightened, but silent and still, like stone. Mesmerized by that quote above.

I heard it at the end of a movie trailer I was watching on my phone just a moment before.

“I’m not afraid of death. I’m afraid I haven’t been alive enough.”

Those words landed in the center of the center of the bullseye so they didn’t even need to be thought about.

They just hung in the air in front of me like conspicuous Himalayan prayer flags.

But they evaporated in an instant when my eyes caught an unexpected sight in their periphery.

It was like a glitch in the Matrix.

A World War II bayonet rested beside my bed.

I felt neurons rushing to make their calculations.

Ah, yes.

My mom and sister were going through boxes of old stuff today and one of them must have left it there for me.

It was my dad’s.

He inherited from his dad who guarded Nazi prisoners with it.

They’re both dead now.

And now it’s mine.

I can’t speak for my grandfather (Abraham Berman) but when my dad (Harold Berman) got sick, he told me that he lived long enough and all he cared about at that point was his family not having to see him suffer.

How brave and beautiful and selfless.

It didn’t even occur to him to worry about suffering. His first thought, as always, was about my mom and my sister and me.

But he didn’t get his wish.

I was imprinted with his suffering. Tattooed permanently by it.

And at this point, I’m not afraid of dying either. I just hope that I (Gabriel Berman) will be alive enough to truly live.

And I hope the same for you.

with love and gratitude,
gb

If you haven’t read this yet, it’s time:
Live Like A Fruit Fly

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The Master Is The Apprentice

“I’m feeling really anxious/shitty/scared. Can you tell me something good please?”

I received this text from a friend a few nights ago.

I instantly responded, “It’s an illusion. It’s mostly all an illusion. And the fraction that isn’t, truly loves you. So just sit there, do nothing, and receive.”

I was just riffing, thoughtlessly riffing. But that doesn’t make it any less true. In fact, probably more true. Light years more.

She courteously thanked me for taking the time to respond. And then thanked me wholeheartedly the next morning because she was breathing more easily. Feeling more free.

I’m not sharing this with you for plaudits, I’m sharing it just to share.

Because we teach what we need to learn. And/or, remember.

love/thanks,
gabe


If you haven’t read my book, it’s officially time to:

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

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Nothing Left To Let Go

I’m broken wide open.

Gloriously so.

All I am, right now, is an exposed heart.

Warm. Loving. Gentle. Full.

Unaffected by any anxiety.

It’s the way I get after seeing a truly lovely movie.

I wish I can feel this way forever.

Because I’ve felt enough of everything else.

Like the last bit of sun at the end of a summer’s day, I will sit in this for as long as I can.

I wonder if there’s anyone else in this moment who feels the same.

I hope so.

I really hope so.

with love and gratitude,
gabe

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

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