Ego & Entanglements
“I saved all of my dad’s cummerbunds.”
That’s the best first sentence ever. Right?
It’ so visual, I just love it. I automatically see an older, heavyset guy at a bar-mitzvah. Hovering over a tray of appetizers.
My friend said it to me a few days ago. When her dad died, she threw out all of his clothes but kept his cummerbunds. I guess they had the most memories woven metaphysically into their fabric.
I told her if she ever writes a book, “I saved all of my dad’s cummerbunds,” needs to be the first sentence. But, as a writer, I’m obligated to steal it. Finders keepers baby, finders keepers.
I’m sitting at the kitchen table as I type these words to you. My mom is standing next to me, texting on her iPhone while going on and on to me about her Zumba class and about the new kitchen cabinets in her condo on the beach in Florida.
And although I sometimes feel like ripping the phone out of her hands and whipping it through the window, I remember – she too will one day take her last breath.
Hopefully later than sooner.
So, I listen. And smile. And encourage her.
My dad and I had a phenomenally loving relationship, but we’d fight often.
Some of our entanglements were for good reason, but most weren’t.
—- a few minutes have passed since that last sentence —-
I was just about to say: if I knew I’d end up watching him suffer so badly from brain cancer for eleven months, I would have been infinitely more permeable to his ego and angry antics.
But that’s bullshit.
I would have been tyrannical. Ruthless. No one would dare to waste a second in my presence.
Nothing but unconditional love, laughter, forgiveness and appreciation would have been allowed.
Sounds unrealistic in this world of ours?
That’s why we continue to suffer.
“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success