OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the tag “depression”

Let’s Just Be Honest With Ourselves And Each Other

Gasoline.

Zippo.

There are times, many of them, when I feel like torching the entire self-help section of the bookstore.

And after that, I’ll delete everyone on Facebook who posts those cheery memes about how happy we should all be feeling.

This new age, nonsensical horse shit is piled so high, I sometimes need a periscope just to see passed it.

Maybe there’s so much sadness in the world because we’re constantly indoctrinated with concepts which tell us that it’s not okay to be sad. And just maybe, the imposed denial of the sadness we actually feel will result in a compounding of sadness which will haunt us even further.

But here’s one thing from the new age moment which rings out to be true: what you resist, persists.

Maybe it’s time to stop resisting the sadness. Just maybe, if we allowed ourselves to acknowledge the sadness, truly acknowledge it and welcome it home, without trying to bury it under layers of pie in the sky lies, we’d be able to transcend it more naturally.

Do you know how much pressure those Facebook memes must put on some people? I’m sure they feel like sailors on a doomed submarine.

Just last night I talked to a woman whose daughter ran away from home and another woman who’s daughter died from brain cancer. Almost everyday I speak to someone who suffers with different degrees of awfulness.

As for me, I deal with a darkness as well.

No matter how bright and beautiful it is outside, and no matter how much I have to be grateful for, my mind sometimes senses this existence of ours through a filter of subtle gloom.

It’s almost like wordlessly I say to myself, “Yes, all is well today, but what about this or that. Or this or that?”

And then I start feeling sad, because I know better than to allow myself to feel sad.
With that said, maybe it’s time to stop kidding ourselves. Life, in all of its splendor, is simultaneously filled with horror. And for those of us who have experienced true horror, maybe we need to let ourselves off the hook.

Let ourselves off the hook when we’re made to feel weak for not being able to feel happy after using techniques taught in so called self-help books and no-help memes.

And then, and only then, we can start to count our blessings.

But authentically so.

Because we will find blessings in life’s splendor, if we look for them.

Regardless of the horrors.

And probably right under our noses.

Thank you my loved ones, those I know and don’t, for taking the time to be with me through these words,

– gb

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

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Vesuvius

I am charged today with the task of adding a bit of beauty to our world.

Who appointed me with this mission?

Me.

And now that I have, I wish I actually had something beautiful to say.

I wish I could write a sentence out of thin air that drips with lusciousness or explodes violently like a volcano. A sentence someone would read and subsequently say to themselves, “Damn Jack, that was exquisite.”

But I can’t.

I got nothing.

However, as the universe would have, I’m now compelled to say this:

Earlier today I saw a Facebook post from a friend who said she was feeling alone. And attached to her words was an authentic, palpable, sullen vibe.

In response I said, “It’s awful to feel that way, but you’re not.”

How could she be alone when I’m taking a breath with her in that moment?

And, as for you dear reader, if you’re ever feeling alone, or sad, or anxious, or lost, or not enough, I hope you’re caused to remember to take breath with me.

A deep, rib expanding, blood pressure lowering, conscious breath.

Because, regardless of time and space, we are connected you and I. Whomever you may be.

Without exception. Without expectation.

You are not alone.

You are loved.

Regardless if you feel that way or not.

But I hope you do feel that way.

Sooner than later.

And with that, I’m here to assure you that you will.

Case closed.

love/thanks,
gabe

www.WinTheWarWithYourMind.com

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If You Really Want To Hear About It…

“What’s Holden doing right now?” I asked my mom.

A few months before her birthday, I overheard her say to someone that she wanted to reread the holiest of hollies, The Catcher In The Rye.

So, that’s the gift I gave her. Paperback, non kindle, with the original cover. Like a 60’s Corvette Stingray, a goddamn classic.

“He just got beat up in a hotel room,” my mom answered.

“Ahh, and now he’s pretending to have bullet wounds in the gut,” I said smiling.

After watching me flick through the book for a few seconds she said, “He’s a real sick kid that Holden Caulfield.”

“He’s not a sick kid,” I said defending him but actually defending myself. “He’s in a sick world.”

Raise high the roof beam,
gb

The Right Isn’t Right

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The Master Is The Apprentice

“I’m feeling really anxious/shitty/scared. Can you tell me something good please?”

I received this text from a friend a few nights ago.

I instantly responded, “It’s an illusion. It’s mostly all an illusion. And the fraction that isn’t, truly loves you. So just sit there, do nothing, and receive.”

I was just riffing, thoughtlessly riffing. But that doesn’t make it any less true. In fact, probably more true. Light years more.

She courteously thanked me for taking the time to respond. And then thanked me wholeheartedly the next morning because she was breathing more easily. Feeling more free.

I’m not sharing this with you for plaudits, I’m sharing it just to share.

Because we teach what we need to learn. And/or, remember.

love/thanks,
gabe


If you haven’t read my book, it’s officially time to:

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

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Nothing Left To Let Go

I’m broken wide open.

Gloriously so.

All I am, right now, is an exposed heart.

Warm. Loving. Gentle. Full.

Unaffected by any anxiety.

It’s the way I get after seeing a truly lovely movie.

I wish I can feel this way forever.

Because I’ve felt enough of everything else.

Like the last bit of sun at the end of a summer’s day, I will sit in this for as long as I can.

I wonder if there’s anyone else in this moment who feels the same.

I hope so.

I really hope so.

with love and gratitude,
gabe

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

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