OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Archive for the category “angels”

The Blind Leading The Blind

I’m worried about my car and this woman can’t even drive.

Not only can’t she drive, she can’t even see the front door at Starbucks.

A few minutes ago, I walked in to grab a coffee while she attempted to walk out.

Kazoo, her seeing-eye dog, went for a cookie crumb wedged in between the cushions of a comfy chair, and I grabbed her folding, old-lady-cart to help her navigate.

I stood outside with her for a few minutes as she confirmed with a van driver if his van was the one she was actually supposed to be on.

She was incredibly grateful for my helping hand.

But my God, I don’t know who was more grateful in the moment, me or her.

Eating, showering, walking back and forth to the auto mechanic, twice, and of course peeing a million times, allowed for my arrival at Starbucks at the perfect, precise moment.

Perspective.

Its lesson is everywhere.

The truth is, I don’t give a shit about the car. And I also don’t give a shit about not having one.

It’s going to cost a fortune to fix my dad’s old car, the one I’ve been driving while I’ve been back up in New York, and my mom was less than thrilled about hearing the news from me.

I was feeling bad that she was feeling bad and then boom: Kazoo and her mom.

Perspective.

I texted my mom to see if she caught the train on time and, since I assume liability for everything, I apologized for the stress of a new heartache.

She texted back, “I’m not stressed. It’s not a glioblastoma (kill shot brain tumor my dad had a three of). It’s only money. Nothing gets me that crazy anymore.”

I’m sure she felt like she was telling the truth, but nevertheless, it was a lie.

Everything still gets to her.

But it’s not her fault. Everything gets to everyone.

Even after all of the loss, and all of the suffering, we’re still tragic victims of the trivial.

We’re consumed with fear about the future and we waste the present worrying about an illusion we have infinitesimal control of.

If you’re now expecting a tirade about gratefulness, don’t worry, it ain’t coming.

Because that would just sound so awful: Worried about your car? Well, be grateful you’re not a blind woman struggling to get through a door.

That would make it seem like she has nothing to be grateful for. And then poor Kazoo would get so sad.

Poor Kazootles.

However, I will say this: We need to be more aware of where are minds are.

If there’s something to worry about, worry away like a champ. But just allow for a little.

Because it sure as shit isn’t going to alleviate anything.

So, go worry, catch yourself worrying, and then force yourself to point your attention to something beautiful. A tree, a smile, a breath, a memory etc etc.

In one form or another, even if it’s simply old age, that kill shot is coming. For all of us.

And the last thing we’re going to want to be filled with in those final moments is regret.

With that said, Kathy’s Song by Simon & Garfunkel is now playing in Starbucks. I’m going to end here because I can still hear my dad singing along with it in the car and I’m trying not to cry in front of everyone.

Thank you, as always, for reading.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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When Cameron Was In Egypt Land…

Why was last night different than all other nights?

Because last night was the second night of Passover, and for the second night in a row, I drove my grandma home after our menagerie of matzoh.

That was my dad’s job.

And now it’s mine.

Earlier in the evening, everyone sat around the table – ate, laughed and pretended to be religious for fifteen minutes.

Including me.

However, I also felt like banging my fists on the table and screaming, “Holy fuck Batman, how are we all acting so normal?”

Maybe that’s what happens when you lose a loved one. Eventually, everything clicks back into place and you just roll with it. Even if it clicks a bit differently than it used to.

Your mom cooks for the family by herself, your brother-in-law hides the matzoh so the kids can scramble to find it, and you get into your dad’s car and drive your grandma back to her apartment in Long Beach.

Life goes on.

But with that said, I once again walked downstairs this morning, and literally felt my dad sitting at the kitchen table. Wearing his blue bathrobe, reading the Times, and eating lots of eggs and gross onions.

Everyone says in due time, things will feel normal again.

Normal?

That’s the last thing I want to feel.

Normalcy might tarnish my memories. And I need them to remain digitally clear.

Because they’re all I have left.

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

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Nirvana Is In The Nostrils

“When I first started working, they called me The Kid,” said a man in his early sixties in the barbershop today.

I was getting scissor snipped, and this guy, The Kid, was talking to the owner of the place while waiting for his turn in the chair.

He continued, “They all use to say, ‘Look out for The Kid!'”

“And now, I almost can’t believe it, they call me Grandpa. Or they call me the old man. ‘Hey Old Man, how’s it going buddy?'”

In the mirror, I saw him smiling between words.

Thankfully.

Because that smile, like an aspirin of last resort, halted my heart from crumbling as I listened to him while watching a mixture of gray and black hairs fall from my head.

Tic

Toc

Tic

Toc

Tic toc.

Tic toc tic toc

Tictoc Tictoc Tictoc

tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-tictoc-BAM!

Thirty years passed before this guy’s eyes just like that.

And it’s happening to all of us.

But not in this instant.

Because it’s happening when we’re not in this instant.

When we’re somewhere else in our minds.

Focused on the illusion of the past or a figment of a future, our life hits the accelerator and it approaches light speed.

We’re hurled through space and time and BAM, we’re siting in a barbershop, taking about diabetes and hip replacements.

Is there a way to slow it down?

Can we cling more to this moment?

Yes, of course.

But it’s going to take an inner revolution.

A crusade.

An adoption of a concept, so rare, that it runs counter to the constant bombardments of society’s accepted normalcy.

Are you ready to receive the coveted secret of all enlightened masters?

Well, ready or not, here it comes: Worry Less.

Worry less.

Can it be that simple?

Yes.

Simple, but certainly not easy.

Because we’ve by conditioned by the fear based, powers-that-be, to worry incessantly.

We’re so conditioned to worry that it has become as normal as breathing.

But imagine living a life where you can just breathe without it being attached at the hip of soul-stunting worry?

And that, right there, is the answer.

It’s the answer to the question: but how do we become freedom fighters in this revolution against worry?

We breathe just to breathe.

We convert from the blind religion of worry, to the grace of conscious breathing.

We make our entire existence into a meditation.

Because with or without your worries, life is unfolding as it will.

And before you scream at me, yes, I know, there’s plenty to worry about. And trust me, I worry with the best of them at times, but eventually I remember – nirvana is in the nostrils.

So listen up, please, I can go on and on about this, but talking too much about slowing down the clock will invariably speed it up.

You’re just going to have to trust me.

Witness yourself breathing.

Make it the most important part of your life.

Move worry to the back burner.

Allow this intelligent universe of ours to actually be intelligent.

Your next breath, and the one after that, and the one after that, can stretch this instant out into eternity.

I promise.

In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

www.WhereIsGodWhenOurLovedOnesGetSick.com

 

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Who Watches The Watchmen?

“I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor.

Says he’s depressed.

Says life is harsh and cruel.

Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.

Doctor says, ‘Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up.’

Man bursts into tears.

Says, ‘But doctor… I am Pagliacci.’

Good joke.

Everybody laugh.

Roll on snare drum.

Curtains.”

Rorschach from “Watchmen”

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For Everyone Alone On Valentine’s Day

I have such sympathy for people who feel alone.

I used to feel that way, and it’s awful.

You stand there in CVS, looking at everyone picking out Valentine’s Day cards, and you think, “Why not me?”

It sucks. I know.

But to that I say, as I would say to just about anything else, all in due time.

If you’ve been patiently waiting for your soulmate for forever, what I’m about to tell you isn’t going to make you feel any better about it. Nevertheless, it doesn’t make it less true.

You’re not alone.

It’s scientific fact. We’re all connected and it’s unequivocally proven by physicists worldwide.

The separation you sense is pure illusion.

If you allow yourself to become aware of this, if you allow yourself to know this, maybe, just maybe, you won’t be “alone” for much longer.

This is an aspect of the law of attraction. And the law of attraction isn’t something you get to believe in or not. It’s as real – as gravity.

Happy Valentine’s Day. From me to you (me).

love/thanks,
gabe (you)

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” —Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

www.LiveLikeAFruitFly.com

www.WeightLossCoffeeMiracle.com

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Today Is My Anniversary

I started writing Live Like A Fruit Fly on the ninth of February a few years back.

I called my friend Rob, who ended up making a few appearances in the book, and said, “Hey man. I know it’s your birthday, so, happy birthday. But you need to do me a favor. I’m starting to write a book today. A book that can change the world. If I’m not done in a year from today, I need you to come over and blow my head off with a shotgun.”

Gruesome, I know. But without hardcore incentive, I’d procrastinate my life away.

I wrote for a few days and then put it aside for a few weeks. I wrote for a few weeks and then put it aside for a few months.

Sometimes it flowed with ease. Other times it was like forcing water from a stone.

Finally, I typed, “The End.”

With my masterpiece manifested, I looked to the lower righthand corner of my computer screen to see the date. Without planning, it was a year later, the ninth of February.

Live Like A Fruit Fly hasn’t changed the world.

Yet.

But I’m grateful to say that it is changing lives – one by one.

For example, I became close friends with a fan of my book and I introduced her to a close friend of mine from back home. They’re now living together and she took him today for a full day at the spa.

Why today?

Because it’s Rob. And today is his birthday.

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” —Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

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Something Strange, Unexpected, Out Of Control

When a man of my age shaves his face in the morning,
Who is it that stares back and greets him?
The ghost of his father long dead all these years?
Or the boy that he was, still wet in the ears?
Or the terrible sum of all of his fears,
In the eyes of this stranger who meets him?

So his glance rarely strays from his chin or his jawline,
To face up to the truth of his soul,
It’s the eyes he avoids so afraid to acknowledge,
Something strange, unexpected, out of control.

There are times when a man needs to brave his reflection,
And face what he sees without fear,
It takes a man to accept his mortality,
Or be surprised by the presence of a tear.
lyrics from Sting’s new album The Last Ship

“Without music, life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

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Byron Katie = The Buddha

“No one knows what’s good and what’s bad. No one knows what death is. Maybe it’s not a something; maybe it’s not even a nothing. It’s the pure unknown, and I love that. We imagine that death is a state of being or a state of nothingness, and we frighten ourselves with our own concepts. I’m a lover of what is: I love sickness and health, coming and going, life and death. I see life and death as equal. Reality is good; so death must be good, whatever it is, if it’s anything at all.” – Byron Katie – from her book: A Thousand Names For Joy

You see, Buddha wasn’t a name. It isn’t a name. It’s a state of being.

It’s the state of being awake. And I assure you, it’s your birthright.

You = The Buddha (underneath your thoughts and what your body is feeling).

love/thanks,
gabe

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Raise Children As Christians?

Two older women at the table next to me at Starbucks were talking about wallpaper. Or maybe it was about gift-wrapping paper. I was only idly listening.

That is, until one of them closed the wallpaper (gift-wrapping?) catalog and said, “And that’s why I believe it’s so important to raise children as Christians.”

I was tempted to ask, “But which Christianity? The Republican version based on the false gods of Guns & Greed? Or the unconditionally loving and forgiving versions of Dr. Martin Luther King and Jesus Christ himself?”

Although, of course, Jesus wasn’t a Christian in the religious sense of the word. Nor was he white. Nor would he be a racist. Or homophobic. Or against healthcare for all. Or for the fetishizing over assault rifles. Or for lining the pockets of the rich at the expense of the middle class.

“If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.” – said by a very dark skinned Jew over two thousand years ago

“In Live Like a Fruit Fly, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful, worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

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Until Death Do Us Part

My grandma left her body in her sleep last night.

I hope she immediately rejoined with her son, my dad.

I miss him so much.

And I’d be comforted to know that he’s back with his dad. Because I know he missed him so much.

Maybe the three of them are looking down on me right now. Maybe they’re with my dog Chuckles. And my other dog Monet.

I hope they’re not disappointed in me. Because I’m trying. I’m really trying.

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