by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

It’s Okay Not To Feel Okay

It’s okay not to feel okay.

It’s okay not to feel happy.

It’s okay not to feel confident.

It’s okay not to feel secure.

It’s okay not to feel at ease.

It’s even okay not to feel grateful.

I promise you, it’s really all okay. So please just let yourself off the hook and breathe easy for awhile.

It can be tough, even in the best of times, to be in a human body. And these my friends aren’t the best of times. Obviously.

And just look at the pressure we’re under from social media. It’s a constant barrage of “choose to be positive” and “you’re responsible for your happiness” and “look at how great my life is compared to yours”.

But fuck all of that.

Life is scary.

And although it’s never the time to be ostriches and stick our heads in the sand, we’re not going to find much relief with the pie-in-the-sky approach proposed by “spiritual leaders” whose every other post is about Bill Gates or how they’re protected from COVID-19 because they’re not scared of COVID-19.

So, how can we eventually feel more okay and even more grateful?

Stop striving to be.

Your mind may just settle down on it’s own. The physical anxiety in your cells may just dissolve.

Think of pouring soda into a glass. The bubbles on top eventually just stop bubbling up. They calm down. On their own. Without any action on our part.

But Gabe, are you just talking out of your ass now to get people to read your new post?


This and exactly this and nothing more, was the only thing that saved me today.

I was standing in the rain on the beach trying to force myself to feel more okay and more grateful (because I have so much to be grateful for but knowing that, as you know, doesn’t always make you feel better) but the more I tried to control my mind, the more resistance to it accumulated.

And resistance, at least for me, is the gateway for anxiety come crawling into my body.

But then, out of nowhere, this thought appeared in my mind: maybe it’s just okay not to feel okay.

And then, surprisingly quickly, I just felt more okay. More at ease. And more grateful. But organically so.

So, if you’re not feeling so hot today, I hope this helps.

With that, thank you as always for trading your time for these words.



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