by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Meet Joe Black

I have sort of an ethical question. 

Maybe you guys can help me out. 

It’s a bit embarrassing, but I’m just going to muster up the courage and ask it.

So, here it goes:

Is it wrong to choke an old white lady to death in front of Whole Foods?

No, right?

Okay, good.  

Because, not only was she a racist, and not only did she call me a self hating jew to my face, but, get this, her mouth was filled with a white, pasty, bird shit substance.

I mean, c’mon, if you’re going to hit me with your pro-Trump, anti-Hillary, hate fueled idiocy, can’t you at least have the common courtesy to swallow the fucking free sample of cream cheese first?

For the love of god lady, you’re gross.

And I can hear what some of you are thinking right now. 

“Gabe, she was an eighty-six year old woman. You could have just been nice and let her off the hook.” 


It’s directly her fault, and directly the fault of others of her ilk, that 12 million people just lost health care. And her fault that net-neutrality was just killed. And her fault that we dropped out of the Paris Climate Agreement. And her fault that social programs are being fleeced to give more money to the wealthy. Etc etc etc to infinity.  

No one gets a free pass if they hurt others.  

No one.  

– gb

P.S. “The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it..”

 – Albert Einstein


Single Post Navigation

One thought on “Meet Joe Black

  1. Arnold Kirschner on said:

    Actually, It is OK to chock an old lady in front of Whole Foods! She talked to you the way she did because she knew that she could get away with it. Surprise!!!!! Also, since she is old and not in shape, it would be easy to purge [they like that word] the Trump out of her. Another idea is to get a car horn, sneak up behind her and press the button. That toot would be a hoot. How about this: Sneak up behind her, grab her by the calf with your finger tips and loudly bark like a dog. Gets them every time. I leave you with these ideas because those Trump supporters are marching down the road to disaster blindly supporting the man who is leading them there. Problem is that they are taking us all with them. Why not have a laugh or two as we pummel.

    Here is the real funny part, and this is really funny, it’s us! I bet she voted while too many of the ‘No Trump’ people didn’t. Don’t blame that rude old lady, blame the much better behaved Hillary supporters. We didn’t behave like citizens while she did.

    Like Pogo said: “We have seen the enemy and it is us.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: