OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

To All The Jews I’ve Loved Before

Dear New IPhone,

Yes, you rock.

Obviously.

But if you really want to impress me out of my pants, step up your technology to this –

“Hey Siri, text every Jew in my phone: Happy Passover!”

There’s just too many of them in there. And I don’t have the time or patience to go one by one.

And if I send a group text, even with a P.S. of, “Please don’t respond to this group text. Text me back separately,” I’ll invariably get a message from one of my hoodlum friends like,
“Hey fuckface! How are your balls?”

And my ninety year old aunt Mollie, in Boca Raton doesn’t need to see that.

However, just in case you’re interested Mollie, they’re just fine.

Happy Passover everyone!

And to all a goodnight.

love/thanks,
gb

Live Like A Fruit Fly

Love Looks Like This

20160422-181326.jpg

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

2 thoughts on “To All The Jews I’ve Loved Before

  1. Chag Pesach Sameach!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: