OMGabe

by Gabe Berman – the author of Live Like a Fruit Fly

Fucking ABBA? Really??

Dear Starbucks,

Regardless of how it may have tested in some corporate boardroom, I assure you, beyond question, Dancing Queen by ABBA is never appropriate for a cool coffee cafe such as yours. Especially at this current, insanely loud volume.

I mean c’mon, haven’t you guys heard of Buddha Lounge?

Meditative, melodic beats and your dark roast?

That’s like love at first site that lasts.

Bubble gum, pop tunes and your dark roast?

That’s just bad makeup on a beautiful woman.

Wait, Marvin Gaye’s Got To Give It Up just came on.

You’ve been redeemed.

sorry/thank you,

gb

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