A Letter To Those ASPCA Commercials
Are you trying to fucking kill me?
Well, those sad puppies and beaten kittens in your commercials literally drain my soul of its life energy. Somehow they make me feel so goddamn guilty even though I ACTUALLY DONATE MONEY TO YOU EVERY MONTH (after seeing one of your commercials years ago)!
Can’t we work out some kind of deal? How about if a person donates, you somehow TiVo your commercials out of our lives. Because honestly, I’m sad enough sometimes and certainly don’t need more help from the likes of you.
Ohhhh, you want me to donate more?
Okay, how about this – you catch the sick subhumans who hurt God’s innocent creatures and simply give me an hour with each one of them. You do this for me, and I’ll give you every penny I got from here on in.
I wish justice was mine,
“In, Gabe Berman shares his recipe for living a more joyful,worthwhile, and abundant life in every way. A witty, entertaining, and insightful read.” ~Deepak Chopra